Kansas and Nebraska

Deity Passes Over Kansas and Nebraska This Year - New Religion on How to Avoid Smiting Breaks Out
By Dennis Diehl

Well, the people of Nebraska and Kansas must finally be towing the line...and we are all going to see the benefits!

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Meteorologists at the National Weather Service office in Hastings are feeling lucky this year.

The 30-county area they serve in central Nebraska and north-central Kansas hasn't had a confirmed tornado for the first six months of this year. That hasn't happened since 1950

"It's quite unusual," said Steve Kisner, warning coordination meteorologist in the Hastings office. "We're glad Mother Nature is keeping everybody safe -- again showing the unpredictability of the weather."

Between five and 10 tornadoes usually hit the office's coverage area between Jan. 1 and June 30, Kisner said.

Tornadoes are especially common in the 30-county area because they are in the northern part of Tornado Alley, a tornado-prone region stretching from West Texas to North Dakota.

It's not often that God lets such a large area off the "To Be Smitten" list, but dang if Kansas and Nebraska have not won the "We Finally Get the Point" award! Congratulations!

Obviously we need to find out just what it is that these two states have finally done as a people to qualify for not being smitten for their sins this year. Now please understand, the not to be smitten list is a yearly thing and all locations on earth are evaluated on a yearly basis. Just because you got off the hook this year, does not mean you will spared next year. But for now, you did good and we expect that one year of NOT being smitten by the Deity will prove to be a real turning point in human history and theology.